Note: The following is the second in a new series of posts on my blog called The Mystery of God.

When you discover that you’re not like everyone else, do you tell the whole world or keep it a secret? What if you’re a man discovering a hidden dimension to his psyche that woke up like a hidden time bomb on his 30th birthday in 1999 CE, and you learned that unseen spirits (angels, perhaps, or even God) were speaking to you, and you could understand them? What if they were telling you that your life story was connected somehow to Jesus’s life mission? What if no one would believe you because they would all just assume that it was just a meaningless set of delusions caused by bipolar disorder or psychosis?

Well, my answer to that question is told in my autobiography, Soulfully Gay, written when — as a 33-year-old man — I remembered the repressed memories from my nervous breakdown on 9/1999 and began to have even more experiences like the ones I had repressed. The answer: tell the whole world, in an autobiography, and wrap it up in enough context that by the time someone figures out what you were trying to communicate to them, they would know you well enough to give you some benefit of the doubt. And also, give them a philosophical and theological context in which they could allow for you to have “your interpretation” of “your experience” as a valid angle for realizing a divine consciousness, but without necessarily agreeing with it.

Now, please listen. I’ve lived with a whole weird, strange, underappreciated spiritual path for many years and told almost no one the details of what it consists in at the level of particularity (though in general, it’s in the field of Integral Spirituality). I have had to figure out a lot of stuff on my own that can’t be transmitted in books (or hasn’t been that I have found). And one of those things that I’ve found is that there’s a very good chance that I am, in fact, connected to Jesus, the Annointed One, in a manner of speaking. I have estimated it at 51% or more based on methodologies that I might be willing to share if I can first establish enough context for my average reader to make sense of it, but it could be a bit more or less. I’m not concerned what the percent is, or how connected it is to DNA, or what have you. I’m not even that concerned that you believe my analysis or not. I am concerned to be able to speak the truth about my life story at a deeper level than I have ever previously done. Because without this context, I won’t be at my best when it comes to telling you about matters of the Spirit that greatly concern us all — and that is more important than who I think I’m connected to, rebirth of, or whatever.

The weird spiritual path that I speak of is basically about stepping into as a radical act of spontaneity a deep power of connection and creativity of the Unique Universal, which we might inadequately conceive as a phenomenon of Great Mystery. This isn’t about metaphysical speculation. This isn’t about wandering in darkness for failure to light a candle. It’s about seeing the world as it truly exists with “beginner’s mind” and noticing the patterns connecting one weirdness or wrinkle or unusual symbol to another, and connecting the dots between all of the information in a coherent way.

In my case, I have stories to tell that concern spiritual entities of light and darkness, human and quasi-human and non-human intelligences, and seemingly magical and unexplained phenomenon. These have been part of my life for more than two decades, and if you’re willing to listen then listen along with me.

After posting the first post in this series on social media, I received a mix of reactions. Some people are still hung up on the framing that if a person is seen to be having symptoms of a “manic episode” (as if they actually knew that that was like from the inside view), then every perception they have from that state is invalid and worthless. That’s just ignorance talking, and I think I’ve already made it clear in my earlier writings how unusual psychological states can present both authentic and inauthentic information about reality. Unusual psychological states can provide us with a wealth of valuable perspectives on reality, if we’re willing to listen. I find these reactions a bit annoying (i.e., bigoted), of course, because they are so prejudicial against experiences that they have never known and cannot enter into.

Being concerned for a relative or friend’s health is okay, but do you realize that someone just told you he might be a partial rebirth of Jesus, and he’s willing to elaborate on that statement and begin to tell the whole story over time, and your first thought is whether he’s talking about reality exactly like everyone else in a way that makes everyone comfortable? That’s kinda nutty, if you ask me.

Why This Story? Because my connection to Jesus has allowed me to gain insights into the workings of the world that nobody else has articulated, so far as I know, and it needs to be said.

Why Now? There are dangers in the way the world is constructed by conventional reality that no one is aware of, and these need to be brought out into the light. The world could very well be on the verge of a disaster of epic proportions — one that hasn’t even dawned on people yet — and you need to know.

My beliefs about my Self’s subtle contours are what they are. You’re not going to change my mind. I could rest in a hospital under psychotropic sedation for months and not one belief would be changed, because my beliefs are not phantoms of mania. My beliefs are stepping stones into the Great Mystery, and ultimately that’s where the conversation needs to go.

Thank you for being kind enough to listen to my reflections. Much love and many blessings, Joe

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