Thoughts on the Relationship Complexity Matrix


One thing I’ll say without getting into too much detail, it that this Relationship Compatibility Matrix (valuable as it may be) puts too much emphasis on stages. States are also incredibly important and someone at two very different stages who hang out at psychic or subtle or causal together can be incredibly compatible as lovers or co-creators, even if this matrix says “Divorce!” or “Friendship (Only)”. Similarly, two people at compatible stages who hang out in very different states much of the time (picture a Buddhist monk at Teal/Causal and a Queer Sex-Positive Activist at Green/Red) are rather incompatible as well, despite the matrix. One could also make the same point about Types as well, so once again we see the wisdom of AQAL.

In other words, we need to consider a wide variety of measurable factors in discerning compatibility in terms of relationship: maturity (Stages), personality (Types), and degree of awakening (States). And this says nothing about the intangible and unmeasurable factors as well as functionality, wisdom, and skillfulness within these various structrures. And then of course there’s the primary distinction of Male/Female, which only gets you so far when you’re looking at the complexity of sexual and gender essences and orientations…

That said, I think this is a wonderful tool for starting a conversation about the role that stages do, in fact, play in our relationships. Plenty of people have written about all the other factors (probably far too much is said about Types, for instance), but stages remains virtually unexamined and unremarked. Good to see that that’s changing.

Facebook Comments


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here