For the past decade, I have made my way in the world as a divided man like the Roman god Janus. Years ago, I struggled to keep my spirits aloft in job after job, sometimes working in a technical occupation looking over schematics and design codes and finding faults and documenting the ways of writing new code, collaborating with software engineers and doing desk work. But I knew I had a higher life purpose than any gig I had taken on, having fallen into a career path that didn’t make sense for me.
And then I met someone who changed all that; through my counselor’s companionship and constancy I was able to figure out that I was not who I presented myself to the world as; my sights were set too low, and I needed to believe in myself in a way that perhaps I had not since high school days. He and my other mentors taught me how to look at my shadow and go places that made me (and other people) uncomfortable, raw and difficult.
There were days many years ago when I believed anything was possible and if I only applied myself I would make a difference in the world that was truly earth shattering, not because I was coming from a place of ego and wanted to be a “big deal” but because the world was slightly mad and I knew it needed the Gifts that only I could bring, like there were pieces missing from the jigsaw puzzle of Life but nobody seemed to notice. Once or twice I confided my belief that I had a world-impactful mission to a friend who helped me shed some unwanted baggage. But how do you acknowledge that you have what it takes to carry the stars when the world wants you to keep both feet planted on the ground?