I’m not eager to talk about my Kosmology. It is a work in progress. I expect to do ongoing work in developing its foundations over the course of a decade. I have even planned an entire book of The Kalendar Series, the third book, to exploring the groundings and foundations of a new Integral cosmological system. This new system uses a new symbol — the New Map of the Heavens — for its elaboration; enfolding within itself: Sacred Words, numerology, a redux of the Enneagram, and other symbols (part of the integral magick system). I don’t expect the New Kosmology will be perfect or satisfy every seeker or thinker, but it will be my best effort to create a cosmology as subtle as is necessary to convey the sort of depth and sophistication necessary for the work of Kosmic Involution/Evolution (Volution). At the base of this Kosmology is the Tai Hsuan, the simple depiction of Yang, Yin, and a third element (which I call You) in a ternary posture.
In The Kalendar Series, the new Kosmology is the product of a treaty signed at the conclusion of the Third Kosmic War. From a literary standpoint, I cannot speak of its details without giving away crucial plot points, twists and turns along the route, especially the outcome for the protagonist, Kalen. And as a matter of fact, the third book remains unfinished. There are plenty of ways in which I may want to change things as my ongoing life experience progresses. But one thing is clear which I can say now: I now see the act of discovering one’s cosmology as active worldview building and as artistry.
Now you may object: “But isn’t The Kalendar Series an act of fiction, whereas the autobiographical journal writing in Soulfully Gay … wasn’t that an act of non-fiction, of theology or philosophy?” After all, remember the “Prologue to T.I.O.B.G.” in Chapter 1 of the memoir. What was that about, if not setting out your first principles, theologically and philosophically?” Like so:
Saturday, November 29
Prologue to T.I.O.B.G.
… [In this journal,] I will begin to assemble a vision of how homosexuality fits into a big picture of everything in the cosmos. You can think of this vision as a metaphysics, cosmology, or worldview. You can even call it a mythology if you like. I will. However, by “myth” I don’t mean to imply that I think this vision is untrue. On the contrary, I very much believe that the story that I will be telling is accurate. I just don’t expect to necessarily be able to prove the truth as fact.
Before I get started, there’s something I want to say that may help you to follow the story that I will be telling about homosexuality: I believe that human beings are souls on a spiritual journey. God (or Spirit, or Higher Power, or whatever you call it) is at the beginning and end of that journey, and is the force or process of evolution along the way. Our souls have two archetypal desires: the desire for reunion with God and the desire for separation from God. The desire for union with God is the stronger of the two, but they are both strong desires. These desires play out in the course of an individual’s spiritual journey (some say this journey lasts more than one lifetime). Based on these desires, we perceive our needs, make choices with free will, perform actions, experience consequences based on those actions, and ultimately experience reactions. Following Eastern traditions, I call this dynamic of action and reaction karma, which basically means that we reap what we sow. Our soul manifests with certain personality traits or characteristics because we’re at a particular point in our spiritual journey and have to find our way back to God. In other words, babies are not born tabula rasa, empty containers to which the substance of personality is added. Their innate characteristics seem to come from somewhere; that place is the origin of karma. This is true regardless of whether you believe in reincarnation, souls that pre-exist in the mind of God, the legacy of ancestors passed down through DNA, or some admixture of these possibilities.
Here I seem to establish my first principles: God (or Spirit or Higher Power), the soul, the soul’s journey (reunion and separation), the karmic cycle, the possibility of reincarnation, and so forth. I say: “I very much believe that the story I will be telling is accurate. I just don’t expect to necessarily be able to prove the truth as fact.” There is another way to look at this: I am trying to make clear what I need to say, at a bare minimum, to tell the story and have it be intelligible without assuming that everyone else shares my core presuppositions. If Soulfully Gay creates a sort of language, then I am setting out the letters and characters which constitute the language; a magical sort of language which creates spells (the T.I.O.B.G. series) which magically resolve the problems of homosexuality in the world religions.
Somewhere over the course of the past decade and some odd years, I have more or less outgrown the story. I can still appreciate the usefulness of its tropes, and still have schemas in my (incomplete) New Kosmology which have similar natures, but I don’t deeply resonate with the Prologue. The story is just so basic, so fundamental, that I don’t want to tell it or play with it as it stands. It is a picture really, better expressed through art than theological language. But as far as theological language goes, it’s not terrible, it just tells one story that most of us have heard so many times it lacks power owing to familiarity.
“Human beings are souls on a spiritual journey. Spirit is at the beginning and end of that journey, and is the force or process of evolution along the way,” I said.
Consider it, as I do, as a sort of magical incantation. To do our ongoing soul work, we need a concept of “soul”. We need a concept of “Spirit”. We need a concept of “evolution”. These are the most magical words in our lives. We need to see that they are connected, one to the other, in a basic sort of way. Metaphysicians and anti-metaphysicians will fight over these words, dismiss their power and even deny their reality itself, but we must always find our way back to the truths that they proclaim. These words. This simple sentence. We’re talking about a magical construction, one which is accessible to the ModernOrange and GreenPostmodern mentalities, but not directly. We are talking about some of the first letters in the core alphabet of any language of spiritual realities.
What happened to me as I outgrew the words of the Prologue is a common occurrence. The cosmology faded to be interesting from one level of my consciousness, and another more complex level arose to take its place. There is a complex story here — my own evolution over 13 years splayed on a Map of Consciousness — but I am still painting it. What I can say with an unfinished canvass is that the magic of the Prologue ceased to be magical at the level of meaning. Instead, I needed to explore the subtle level of its meaning. I wanted to understand the relationship between “self” and “soul” in a plain, clear, undeniable way. I wanted to understand the differences between words like “God” and “Spirit” and “Higher Power” so that each word held a unique revelatory meaning. I wanted to understand “evolution” and its twin concept of “involution” and what about “Volution”?. I needed a more complex map, one that could understand not only the referents of words, but the subtle energetics of meaning itself.
This sort of growth is predicted by the Integral maps as individuals grow from GreenPostmodern and TealIntegral and TurquoiseHolistic beyond into realms colored Indigo and Violet. The way it looked to me is that I was becoming a Worldview Artist, shifting from a cosmology which tells a story with words (Human beings … souls … evolution … journey, etc.) into one which creates Kosmology with subtle energy patterns (Yang and Yin and You in a Primordial Trinity, evolving into bi-grams of Yang-Yang, Yang-Yin, Yang-You, Yin-Yang, Yin-Yin, Yin-You, You-Yang, You-Yin, You-You, and then to tri-grams, tetra-grams, and so on, etc.) What was needed was a bridge between the simple subtle energy patterns detectable in this sort of combination and the language of plain speech. Lingua-U was that bridge, and the pursuit of a Language of Subtle Energy became my Game.