I met with a drug investigator for MK0518 (Raltegravir) today. No major side effects so far, just some noticeable acid reflux. It’s been a month since I began the new integrase inhibitor as well as a new protease inhibitor and two other anti-HIV drugs. Next week, I get bloodwork back.
I find myself having fears and expectations and more fears around getting the results back from the bloodwork. I suppose I’m most afraid that I’ll show no decline in viral load. Or very little decline. I am afraid, because there are few other options available to me at this point. It would feel like a heavy blow. I really want to live. And having the viral load come back high would just be the next worse thing to some sort of death sentence. Or so it seems. If I dwell on these possibilities, it’s very disturbing. I suppose it’s normal to feel this way, but normal sucks.